I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize