And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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