She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i out mim tonsoeep
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
