a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
