I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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