If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
