this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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