'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
