i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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