3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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