Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
