He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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