just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
