hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
