Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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