...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
why is half of my head shaved?
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