I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
