I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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