I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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