Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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