Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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