so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
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