I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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