Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
