I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
