i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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