I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
