Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
