Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
