I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize