i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
