you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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