Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
