he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
