i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
