we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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