The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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