Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
