My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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