My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
