idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
bring money and cleavage
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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