I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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