I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
