so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
FUCK WHALES
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize