wanna go halves on a baby?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
