cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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