Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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