The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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