i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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