You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
