Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How does it feel to date your dad?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
