i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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