Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
