we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The beer is more important than you right now.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
