we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
