did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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