No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
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I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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