she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
