I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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