I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
