Already got asked if we're dating
wanna go halves on a baby?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
