Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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