he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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