I heard we made out
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
