Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
