Dual....:-)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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