Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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