Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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