I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
