so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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