1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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