fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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